My dearest dark circles,

You have been my companions for as long as I can remember! Just as a shadow constantly follows at the heel of its owner on a sunny day, you have stuck close to my eyes without cease. You make your presence known through even the most generous layer of concealer, shining forth like dark beacons of fatigue. Even in times of sufficient rest, I can count on you to accompany me throughout my daily life.

Thanks to you, I’ve been able to start lots of hugely productive (and not at all offensive!) conversations about my level of energy with friends and coworkers. The unsolicited comments that you draw in are unparalleled, and I couldn’t credit you enough for the pleasure that those discussions have brought me.

When I look in the mirror, I would prefer to view myself as perhaps an eccentric genius, and the draining effect of my great intellect creates these dark half moons under my eyes. Regrettably, a more realistic description for the look that you create for me would be “chronically sleep-deprived wretch”. Stumbling out of bed with a minimal amount of sleep is always made all the more hazardous by your frequent habit of showing up uninvited.

I have plied you with gels, lotions, masks, and concealers in an effort to convince you to take leave of your position. Your loyalty to your task, however, is unwavering. I can’t help but be in awe of your dedication to maintaining a look of permanent exhaustion for me to present to the public.

I believe that in the presence of such devotion I am only left with one option: to let you continue your occupation of my face in peace. I have often worried what people might think when they see you, and it is because of these concerns that I have taken great pains to remove all evidence of your existence. But what are the thoughts of others in comparison to full assurance in the entirety of my face? I think that fully embracing the appearance that you create is my best option. After all, how else will people be able to perceive the subtle effect of my unconventional intelligence shining through? Dark circles, my face would simply be lacking without you.